-Disregard anything and everything that I wrote in the last issue…I lied.-
For those of you who didn’t read the last issue of The Bachelor’s Corner (either because you didn’t care to, had chronic memory loss, or simply because I bore you to tears), I stated that I would be giving up all my romantic pursuits effective immediately. Don’t take it personally or anything, but I deceived you all, and I’m sorry. Please, find it in your hearts to forgive me. I guess I just got fed up with everything, all the frustration and depression. Either that, or I was just bored and wanted to get some people to lay off of my personal life for a while. (But that didn’t work…so I guess it’s back to the basics.)
I guess the change of plans came to pass a little while ago when I went to the dentist. I went in to have some x-rays, and for the first time in my life, discovered that I had some cavities. My mother blames it on all the chocolate milk. I blame it on non-fluoridated water. Either way, I had to go get my teeth drilled. Not my idea of a good time, but I got to skip one of my two academic classes, so it was almost worth it…almost.
But that’s beside the point, I’m getting off track. Lying there in the dentist’s chair with a spit-sucker in my mouth, there’s wasn’t really much I could do to keep myself entertained, except think to myself. I guess I could’ve engrossed in deep conversation with my dentist, but being the dentist’s patient would have made it a little difficult. (Although there are some dentists who while fiddling around in your mouth, are extremely good at deciphering what it is you’re trying to say. Almost like a whole separate language. I wonder if they learn that in dental school…) Anyway, as I lay there, staring into a shining dental lamp, with various intricate tools being stuffed into my mouth, I began to ponder my current situation. Call me crazy, but I decided to go for the glory. I really like this girl, and I didn’t want to give up, and by golly, I didn’t have to, so by golly, I didn’t. I wonder what brought on this change of mind…maybe it was the Novocain talking…
So the answer is no. I am NOT giving up. In fact, I’m rather opposed to the concept all together. Why not try? Isn’t it better to try and fail, then to never have tried at all? I’ve been told a million times that by trying I’ll hurt myself more then if I just gave up now. Well guess what folks, I’m not a masochist. I enjoy trying, it depresses the crud outta me when I don’t. And if it’s gonna cause me more pain in the long run (which it won’t) then I couldn’t care less. Besides that, I get bored easy…consider this a hobby of mine.
“A wise man and a fool went digging for buried treasure. They dug until they found a beautiful and precious chest filled with sparkling gems. Unfortunately, they had dug a hole so deep that they couldn’t get themselves and the treasure out of the hole. The fool, who desperately wanted the chest filled with jewels, said, ‘I know, we’ll dig ourselves out of this wretched ditch, and then the treasure will surely be ours.’ But the wise man said,
‘Nay, let us leave this treasure behind and pull ourselves out of this hole, for then we will surely live to discover treasures elsewhere.’ The wise man pulled himself out of the ditch leaving the treasure behind, while the fool attempted to dig himself out of the hole. An hour later the fool struck oil and became a ka-zillionaire.”
Sometimes you just gotta keep on digging, regardless as to what everyone else might say. As far as I’m concerned, all those wise men in the world today think way too much and have no hopes or dreams or anything. I bet they don’t believe in fairy tales either. Stupid wise men.
For those of you who believed that I actually had given up; good, that was my intention. For those of you who knew all along that I wasn’t giving up; congratulations, you know me better then I’d like you to. For the beautiful girl of my desires, who is right now reading this column and saying to herself something along the lines of “Oh, shoot! I thought I was rid of him!”; I was thinking…what are you doing this weekend? And for those of you who have come to the conclusion that I am totally and completely insane;…jeeze, it’s about time you figured that out.
The Bachelor’s Corner will remain relatively the same for the rest of the year (sorry, no politics or weather for you, I lied about that too). Who knows…maybe I’ll see Vegas yet.