I don’t understand the obsession. The passion. The waiting in line. The cult-like devotion. Those crazy Apple fanboys… You annoy the crud out of me.
Brand fanaticism has reached such a level in which the loyalty is so intense, that it’s reached a point of religious fervor.
-knock knock-
“Yes?”
“Hi! Hello! We’re here in the neighborhood and we’d like to share with you a special message about—”
“Oh…hey guys I—”
“about how Apple products can change your life and bring you happiness and salvation.”
“Wait…I thought… What?”
“We’d like to share this special message with you, and tell you more about ‘The Way.’ May we come in?”
“I’m…confused.”
“We understand. In today’s world there are so many brands to believe in. It can be difficult to find out which is the one true computer company. Have you ever felt this way?”
“I’m sorry. I’m still confused. Are you here to sell me something?”
“Oh no. Our message is free. If however you care to purchase one of our products, that will require a lifetime of commitment, increasing loyalty, and some type of pension plan.”
“Right…”
“I see you have an iPhone there! That’s good! How does it make you feel when you’re using it? I bet you like browsing our App Store!”
“Yeah… Actually I’m not as happy with it lately. The new operating system has really slowed it down. It crashes regularly. I can’t even use the Maps function anymore.”
“Did you jailbreak your phone sir?”
“Well yes but—”
“Jailbreaking is a sin, and has consequences. But don’t worry. That’s why we’ve come to share with you a message about repentance and salvation. May we come inside and share with you some pamphlets about our new iPhone 5?”
“I don’t really think—”
“Different. You just need to think different. Have you ever thought about where you’re going? What happens to you after that blue screen of death? It doesn’t have to be like that. The Way can help you just like it helped us.”
“Why are you showing me a picture of Steve Jobs?”
“Most people believe in a supreme being, even though we may call him by different names.”
“Get off my porch.”
Ok…That was the funniest one ever….hahaha!!