I would make an incredible spy. Seriously. I still don’t understand why the CIA hasn’t tried to recruit me. I’m sneaky! I’m stealthy! I look good in black! Obviously I have all the skills needed to become a globe-trotting master spy. It’s only a matter of time before you see me in a classy casino bar drinking a chocolate milk (shaken not stirred), while extracting vital information from a beautiful woman using only the power of my charm. The nation’s security depends on it. Trust me.
Once at a Halloween party I took part in one of those Murder Mystery games. I was playing the part of a French Chef. Except, I wasn’t really a French Chef. Oh no. I was really a SPY for the US government!! My mission was to find and identify smugglers on our ocean liner and have them cast into the brig!! I needed to do so without revealing my secret identity.
I don’t want to brag or nothin’ but yeah…I totally caught those smugglers. They didn’t stand a chance. I befriended them, developed and orchestrated a sting operation, and had them cast into prison without them ever knowing who put them there. Oh yeah, and I also found a double agent, identified a murderer, AND survived an assassination attempt on my life, ALL without losing my cover as Master Chef Blaise de Richelieu.
About the only thing missing was the beautiful woman that’s so typical of all my favorite spy movies. I did however, get pretty good at my fake French accent.
So c’mon already CIA! Get with the recruiting!!
I should’ve read this one before the next one. That grappling hok is heaps more awesome than my Batman utility belt grappling hook. I doubt that McGuyver could even devise on that awesome…