I’m not really in denial. I mean, I look in the mirror in the morning and I just don’t see a guy who is…um…near 30 years old. The guy in the mirror looks much younger. Not only that, but he looks like he deserves to have a fancy job with a high paying income and a hot little wife. He looks like he should win the lottery too. Yup. Totally not in denial.
So I’ve decided to do what most people who are…um…near 30 do. I have officially decided to start lying about my age. After all, I can totally get away with it. Most people who meet me for the first time think I’m only 22 anyway. I’d hate to embarrass them by having to explain that I graduated high school in the previous millennium. Really, I’ll be doing them a favor, saving them from all that embarrassment. It’s the right thing to do. I’m such a nice guy.
I will of course have to study up on the younger generation to really pull-off the youngification of myself. Let’s see…what are 22 year olds into these days? Um…let’s see. Reality television. Texting. Texting with poor grammar. Poor grammar in general. The Kardashians… (see what I did there?)
Now that I think about it, this shouldn’t be too hard. I can see myself easily lying about my age and getting away with it for at least another 10 years. The only way I can really see myself getting caught is if I get seriously involved in a baseball discussion. Once I start relaying game statistics from memory from the 1980′s people may start to catch on…