Don’t text while driving. Don’t facebook while driving. And don’t check internet web pages while driving…unless of course it’s cartoon raccoon related…in which case you still shouldn’t internet while driving…but at least you’re looking at a quality website.
Sometimes writers ruin things. It happens. I’ve come to expect this. You have a perfectly good tv show, and then one fateful day, the writers decide to stray from the formula. It probably begins innocently enough. A group of writers sit around anxiously discussing how to create a more compelling story for their show, when [...]
Once upon a time, as a young teenage lad, I had a driving lesson from a strange man who reminded me of John Travolta. Or fat Elvis. Or both. I was somewhat weirded out by this odd man with his flashy gold chains. Even worse, he made driving a somewhat painful and awkward experience. So [...]
There are a few rules that everyone should know about carpooling. Since this can sometimes be a contentious debate among carpoolers, I have taken the liberty of clarifying these rules for you, readers and followers of the internet.These rules will hereby be forever known as laws and must be obeyed and followed from this moment on, as [...]
It’s your fault. That’s right. It’s your fault we’re in this mess. Don’t go around blaming the older generation. This falls squarely on you. You are to blame. Rotten teenagers. It’s your fault we don’t have good movies anymore. And you know why?? Because your attention spans are the length of a gnat. A GNAT I SAY! [...]
Drivers’ Ed. I’m not sure you can find a more useless waste of time, then Drivers’ Ed class. Obviously I am in favor of people learning to drive. And obviously I am in favor of people receiving the proper instruction on how to do so. But c’mon. 30 HOURS of classroom instruction??? Driving is about [...]
Teenagers. What a mess. Seriously. What is wrong with those things?? Seems like they’re always in a heap of depressive overemotionalism. Or they’re brooding silently ready to snap at any moment. And you can never tell which it is. Their over-hormoned manic state could erupt at any moment….and no, I’m not talking about acne. As [...]
I have some terrible, terrible news. It’s going to hurt when I tell you. You had better brace yourself. You might want to sit down. As it turns out, life isn’t always fair. Whoa. Hey now. Don’t get mad at me! Believe me, this came as a shock to me too. As it turns out, [...]
Once upon a time, I used poor judgement. I know that may come as a shock to many of you on account of my excellent and spotless record over the years -cough- but I must confess, I have not always been the exemplary pillar of valor that I am today. It all went down in [...]
