There are a few rules that everyone should know about carpooling. Since this can sometimes be a contentious debate among carpoolers, I have taken the liberty of clarifying these rules for you, readers and followers of the internet.These rules will hereby be forever known as laws and must be obeyed and followed from this moment on, as I am the internet, and thus, the final word on every issue of debate. The internet has spoken.
Rule 1:
“Shotgun” (or calling the front passenger seat) may only be done prior to the drive, when outside and when the car is within sight. No other times are acceptable. If you lose sight of the car, then your calling of shotgun no longer is valid. Your shotgun reaches its completion when the drive is finished, or when parties step out of the car, at which point shotgun may be called by any party. Don’t argue with me. I am the internet.
Rule 2:
The driver has final control and veto power of the music and/or radio station. His car, his tunes. That being said, anyone who doesn’t allow passenger’s the right to select some music (when not in conflict with baseball broadcasts), is kind of a jerk. Regardless, the rules are clear.
Rule 3:
If it’s not your car, you owe gas money. Gas is over 4 bucks a gallon here in California. If you’re going on a road trip and your friend is driving his car, you’re chipping in for gas. And if you’re not, you’re getting left behind in one of those creepy middle-of-nowhere gas stations with a gas station attendee who never went to high school named Dwyane. Don’t resign to a life of having to ask Dwayne for a key every time you need to urinate – Chip in for gas.
Rule 4:
Girls get the front seat. Don’t be a tool. Open the door and give the girl the front seat. Trust me on this. You’ll thank me later.
Rule 5:
You are not allowed to laugh at your friend’s car. Even if his old ’96 Saturn is missing a window, or if the mirror is held on by Shoe-Goo, or if the sunroof leaks water, or if the passenger side visor keeps falling off, or if his lovable niece put holes in his roof and now the interior ceiling is held together by massive quantities of duct tape, or if the fan belt screeches excruciatingly loud and wakes the entire neighborhood whenever the car is started on really hot or really cold days– even if (and I’m speaking totally hypothetically here) ALL of these things are true, you are not allowed to laugh at your friend’s car. That’s just not cool man. Not cool.
Remember, I am the great and all-powerful internet, and these rules are law. They are for your own good. Now go forth, and carpool.
Love the link back to thermostat wars! :D